Back to the Pain

This past Thursday, the CRPS pain came back in full force. :'(  My hand/arm is back to being cold, sensitive, swollen, discolored, and painful!!  Thursday and Friday, I guess you could say I really struggled with this turn of events.  I was a little frustrated.  I didn't injure it, I was so careful not to overuse it, and still, the pain went back to what it was like before the block.  I didn't understand.  But then, this weekend, God spoke to my heart and gave me peace that He is still in control in the midst of this flare-up.  I still have a lot of questions, but I realize once again that some of those might not be answered in this life.  All I can do is surrender this to Jesus and believe with my heart that He has a good purpose behind the pain.  He's not finished with me yet.  And in the meantime, as I learned from a Philippians sermon at Solid Rock today, I just gotta "keep going" and forget what lies behind (all the pain, all the disappointments, all the frustration).  I want to "press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:14)

So now, I'm waiting for August to end so that I can tell my pain dr.  He's on vacation, so I have to wait 9 more days!  I'm really praying he'll at least consider the ketamine infusions.  I've heard so many good stories of its success!  Part of the reason he may not want to do them is because they're inpatient, so it would be quite spendy.  But, we're almost at our catastrophic insurance protection which means that once we reach that point, we won't have to pay any more medical care for the rest of the year! :)  So if he suggests the ketamine infusions, I'll be game to try it!

My pain meds that I'm taking right now aren't enough for the pain, and I already had to double one of the doses after a flare-up in July.  And, I really don't want to take anymore pills. ;)  I'm going through the green-and-blue "candy" and the white-and-orange ones way too fast!

On Friday, when I arrived at the center for rehab, I actually didn't have an official PT appointment.  After assessing my neck, spine, and arms, my therapist talked to one of my pain dr.'s colleagues and asked her to order two cervical spine x-rays.  I've been getting bad cervical spine pain, and he's not sure if it's CRPS pain or something else going on because, when I side-bend my neck to the left or right, I can't lift my arms and it hurts.  So I had those x-rays done right away, and now I'm waiting once more for the results....  I should hear back this week.

Thanks for checking in! :)  I officially start volunteering in the NICU on Tuesday.  Really hoping the pain won't get in the way!