Another Hard Day

Everything is still raw, and I wept great big tears this morning, but I know all of you want to know the results of my MRIs, so here they are.  I don't have the report yet, but in one word, they are "normal."  I don't understand. :'(  I've asked God all morning, "Why??"  I know I should be full of joy, but honestly, I'm so sad because this means I have to keep waiting for an answer.  I'd rather have bad news than still no answer.  I know how to accept bad news, like when I got diagnosed with CRPS and EDS.  But having no answer...that's so hard.  These last 3 months have seemed like 3 years.

I have a follow-up tomorrow with my pain dr. and a follow-up on Dec. 27th with my neurologist.  Here we go again.  In her words, we have to go back to the drawing board.  I was able to have a short phone call with her this morning, and I have to say once again, that I'm so thankful for her.  She encouraged me and told me not to give up hope.  She'll do all she can to help.  She's still glad I had those MRIs cuz she was able to rule out a brain tumor or Multiple Sclerosis.  I hope to talk with her about the neurological side of EDS because I have learned that there have been cases of EDS with ptosis and myoclonus.

If she still can't find out what's going on, the Mayo Clinic, John Hopkins, or someplace like those might be in my near future..  Also, in March, I have a follow-up with my spine surgeon.  This past September, he told me that if I still have the headache in 6 months, then he said he'll chase this more in terms of my cervical instability (which causes neck pain and headaches).

I am sad, but I know this isn't the end of the world.  As this song says, pray that I will take courage, knowing that my Lord and Savior will defend, protect, and uphold me with His righteous right hand.